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Troubles…Continued

Happy New Year! Now that all the Holiday festivities are completed, let’s get back down to business…

During the time of the miscarriage, something else was going on between Nicole and I. During one of our many weekend trips, I had gotten a ticket while driving her car. She had a headlight out that had been out for quite a while. And since I was the one driving the car when we were pulled over, the ticket was put in my name even though the car was not mine. The ticket was going to be due around the beginning of February. Well, toward the end of January, I’m not going to lie, I was not trying to pay that ticket because it was not my car and I was barely driving it by that time.

So, something I said to Nicole ticked her off I guess and she just stopped talking to me. During the time that she was not talking to me, I did a lot of praying asking God to show me where he wanted me to be in my life. Not necessarily my location but what I was doing with my life. And I was also asking him to reveal to me the people that he wanted me to have in my life. After about a week, I went to work one day completely stressed out and quite tired of feeling invisible in a house where I paid rent. As soon as I walked into my job, my boss asked me if I was okay. I told her the truth. I was not okay. She told me to come into her office and tell her everything that was going on. As soon as I got into the office, I literally broke down in tears. By the time I got to the end of my story, she told me that the best thing for me to do would be to go home. Home as in my home, with my parents, in Mississippi.

I was still very against going back to live with my parents but, deep down, I knew that was the only thing I could do. I was broke, hungry, stressed, depressed, and still going through a miscarriage. I was at my worst. Staying where I was wasn’t going to help me get better. I knew that, my boss knew that, and my parents knew that. I clearly heard God speaking to me telling me to go home and start my life over. I heard Him saying that he was showing Himself to me and showing me that He was answering my prayers. I couldn’t run anymore. I couldn’t hide. I was too far gone. I was at the bottom and I was finally looking up. I had to go back home. So, provisions were made for me to return home withing the next 2-3 days. I had no idea how to tell Nicole or her mom that I had to leave. I was still trying to come to grips with the whole thing myself. So instead of saying anything, I said nothing. Nothing at all.

To be continued…

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Just a young girl in a crazy world, taking things one step at a time.

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